On the Beach
Holkham Beach
Norfolk
North Norfolk
Cley next the Sea
Wells Next the Sea
Chelsea Next the sea
St Albans next the sea
New Year’s Day walks
Busy
The physical cold on your face
The chat, - the chat, chat, chat, chat, chat
The expanse of sky
The chat, - the chat, chat, chat, chat, chat
I’m beginning to feel anxious coming out of lockdown
The social bubble that is the North Norfolk beaches at Christmas fuels that anxiety
The wellies. Barbours, Hunters, Joules
Need a new pair this year
The dogs, labradoodles, goldendoodles, Aussie doodles
cock a fucking doodle doo
No one actually lives here
They’re all on holiday
And the Rodneys are queuing up God forbid
Here comes the sun
And I say
it’s all right
Holidays in the sun
Holidays in the winter sun
Holidays in the summer sun
Let’s go elsewhere
The world
The real world
Instagrammable
#beach
#oceanview
#beachporn
#porn
You’ve got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours
Spread it all over my peeling skin baby
That feels real good
The embodiment of the neo liberal triumph of convincing people to buy something or VOTE for someone that is not in their interest
Some might say that would be a Patek Philippe watch
Or a personalised registration
But I would say it’s the beach
On the Beach
Does anyone actually enjoy sitting on a beach? Really?
As Chomsky says there’s a way out of this,
You need to rise up,
You need to believe,
You need to communicate
Protect those who are not yet born
but it seems forlorn to me
Looks beautiful
Looks fun
Fun Fun Fun
Til her daddy takes the T-Bird away sang the Beach Boys
But it’s too hot
The soles of your feet burn
Burn baby burn
disco inferno
Dance Dance Dance
Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, to the radio
Dance on the sand
I was dancing when I was twelve
I was dancing when I was twelve
You can’t get rid of the sand
You dehydrate
Your head hurts
Your skin burns
It kills you
Literally
It kills you
Like lead white face powder
Like plastic bottles on the beach
On the beach
Doo do do doot do do do do do do
My name is Szczech, Andy Szczech
I'd better go take a swim
and see if I can cool down a little bit
I could think of a lot worse places to be
Like down in the streets
Or down in the sewer
Or even on the end of skewer
Holidays in the sun
I don’t wanna holiday in the sun
Is it pretty?
Pretty vacant
Pretty
Pretty
Pretty
Sometimes not so Priti
Priti Patel
There’ll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover
The bricks of the land
The Island
Plague Island
We shall go on to the end
We shall fight in France
We shall defend our Island whatever the cost maybe
Shouting Lager Lager Lager
The Empire Strikes Back
Britannia waives the rules
We shall fight on the seas and oceans
We shall fight on the beaches
We shall fight in the hills
We shall never surrender
Oi Jimmy – they’ve killed my scooter
Jimmy Jimmy ooo
Jimbo Jimbo
Zimbo Zimbo
Jingo Jingo
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
Johnson yells
Here we go
Beware the flag-waving piccaninnies
Beware the watermelon smiles
Beware those looking like letter boxes
Here comes The Sun
And I say
Well, best if I didn’t
Here’s some sand
Some more sand
Good for burying my head
Back to the beach
Norfolk
North Norfolk
Holkham beach
On the beach